An almost lesbian experience

Yesterday was perhaps the closest I got to a lesbian experience.

After a few days of looking around, I finally found a place to go get a rub down as recommended by my doctor.

One of those residences-turned-commercial properties in Bangsar, Cafe Jamu is located at the corner just opposite Bangsar Village. It's owned by an Indonesian lady, who looks great despite having given birth just two months ago - unlike yours truly.

This place offers Indonesian jamu treatments from RM60 to RM600 depending on what you need. Since I just popped myself, my friend Hazel and I took the Ibu Manja package (RM200) which gave us a facial (one hour), a massage (1.5 hours) and a mandi bunga (1/2 hour).

Now I've never done a facial in my life. Always heard horror stories about how beauticians poke blackhead removers at your face as though they're dipping into fondue. However, this jamu kind of facial is gentle and soothing. The smell from the spices need a little getting used to but all in all, very nice.

Now the massage was surreal. I was led into a dark upstairs room with a rickety bamboo bed which didn't look very comfortable but who cares - it's authentic.

I had to strip down to my panties, which freaked me out a bit because, well, I'm 220lbs man.

The back bit was painful but no surprises there. However, I had to turn around and when the masseuse did my front, it all got a little awkward. If my husband was around, he'd probably be in a hacking fit of giggles. It was just plain uncomfortable, her spreading coconut milk and cucumber extract between my breasts. And when she began massaging, I didn't dare open my eyes. What with the dim lighting, soothing music and all, it was beginning to resemble a French movie.

Anyway, that wasn't it. After the rubbing, I was asked to go downstairs into the garden for my mandi bunga. Yup, in broad day light. Cafe Jamu has little Balinese huts built into a huge garden where you have bath tubs filled with all types of stuff such as chrysanthemum and orange slices. For the second time in my adult life, a stranger gave me a bath other than my husband (first was at the hospital three years ago after my Cesarian). I sat there, breasts exposed and nipples becoming a little cold and painful from a breeze blowing, stewing in a tub of fragrant oils and kook fa.

Oddly, it was really nice, albeit cars ahonkin' outside while fake bird and wave sounds try to convince me I'm really in a tropical paradise somewhere in the Pacific. If not for the neighbour's roof and a ventilator spinning atop it, I would verily swim in the fantasy. Instead, I was looking for windows and lurking eyes. Apparently, Cafe Jamu has cleverly engineered its huts with their leafy roofs to hide just enough without looking like squatter quarters. And I'm not sure of this, but they timed it so I never saw Hazel (in her bogelness) the whole time we were there. It's like "How BIG is this place man?!"

Regret not taking any pictures. When you're nekkid and have elephant thighs, you don't exactly think of freezing the moments.

I am definitely going back for more.

New year, new look

I've decided to give this blog a revamp since it's the new year and all. Notice that the comments engine is now Blogger's resident one, so I must apologise that all of the Haloscan ones have now been effectively wiped out. Well, nothing like a clean slate, right? That's one of my 2005 resolutions: to be more tidy with my things :)

So what other resolutions are up? Well, to lose weight, as always. As it is I can't find clothes to fit me anywhere these days. Yes, I am THAT fat.

The last resolution (hey, there's enough on my plate man!) is to embrace humility. I think many times in the past I've been quite the attention whore. It's time to change thatlah. Mother of two already, can't be like that anymore hehe.

Went and did a spot of shopping today. CNY decorations are up, and nothing else quite cheers me the same way as CNY music, for some reason. Well, my CNYs back in Ipoh were always happy and festive, which must be why I get so in the mood just from hearing the clanging of cymbals and dung-dung-chang tunes.

Time to strip the Xmas tree down and replace the ornaments with ang pow fish and firecrackers!

Broken sleep

Wow. It's been almost three years since Lokes and I went through the whole midnight feeding thing. And now it's back again.

The "Ha, three hours already meh?!"

The "It's your turn!"

The smell of mustard poo wafting around at 3am in the morning because you were too lazy to throw it out at 1am

The wet, gurgling sounds waking you up because your spouse fell asleep with one hand propping the bottle to keep it in the baby's mouth - but not quite.

We have to keep reminding ourselves that, at least, our baby's home.

ps. Happy 2005 everyone. Here's to a year of new beginnings, good friends and fruitful adventures!